good choice

 Can’t sleep. Because someone didn’t reply to me back then.

That bloody itch, what should i do.
She couldn’t say a simple YES or NO to what i asked.
Now that i can’t kill myself with the easiest way of dying by swallowing pills or poison. Just because I can’t kick her ass or slap her cheek hard as Micheal corleone or kiss her lips or fuck her like tyler durden. All i am left is with my dumb agony which is not strong enough to share it with the people who care about me.
Cant even cry because I am in a mess of my little intelligence saying “why to worry when she doesn’t care.” She will fuck her boyfriend fourtimes in a week with six digit salary with a nice sofa to sit in leisure with her black victorian leaves covering her venus half torn umbrella showing her delicate soft flesh teasing her boyfriend to fuck her irrespective of both of them fucking four times a week. happy little couple they are together on that sofa. Goddamn that sofa. if she is happy then why do I make a mess out of it. But my mind says, “jack off to random nudes in reddit and fuck some whore in bhudwar pet.”
Fucking bitch, can’t she say a simple no which would have made me peacfull accepting that reject.
Back then she used to say “why can’t we just be friends.”
This is the reason itch. You don’t want to hang out with me, you don’t want to eat with me, you don’t want to drink with me, you don’t want to talk with me and you want me to be a friend of you.

Hmm.
But my heart says, “don’t fucking jerk off you dirty idiot. You need love.”

Now where to find love where people i know won’t even spend time with me.

“Hmm,” thinks my heart.
“Jerk off to someone new.”
“Riley reid,” says my mind.
“Good choice,” says my heart.

Here i go … weeee…..