the damned me.

 Oh let me see her, she is eating, and I am eating too. That black headed red lipsticked woman, and her black pimples bursting out of her chins look ugly. I am not interested in them, I want to see her waist, strip of her bra, her panty lines on her tight jeans, her fingers itching her crotch. I want my dick in that tight crotch and walk all the down to her home.

Let me wait until she bends, god let her hanky fall down, let her bend a little down so that I can watch her back and find out what color panty she is wearing or how cute her ass cleavage is.

She bends over, she is wearing a black panty. I am excited, let me see it another time. She bends and I watch it again. Oh goddamn her black panty is so exciting, have to jerk it off until it expires having imagining it again and again.

Waiter comes with the bill, I yell “can’t you wait, let me watch her bend over another time, let her finish first,” in my mind.

He hands me the bill, he wants the bill, he wants the tip too.

I give him the tip and leave feeling sad that the only people who love me are the barber and the waiter.

Someone is going to finger fuck her pussy one or the other night, can’t she give that to me, her hairy wet pussy, can’t she rub it with mine.

I eat, I sleep half an hour. I can’t sleep. I want to masturbate. Can’t masturbate.. Doctor says that I have fapped too much. He adds, “only masturbate if you want to kill yourself, only blood will shoot not your serum.”

I go for a walk, I can’t see people being happy. I Let myself engage in watching beggars. Two fools beat each other. “fight fuckers fight, fight until yours balls drop off.” Lucky that’s not me. A little white kid walks across me with her mini skirt, god damn her legs, am I a pedophile, shit, no, I don’t want myself in jail. I don’t want to turn myself into a homosexual.

I go forth and watch couples walking with hand in hand, I am disgusted by their existence. Something is intrinsically wrong with me, it’s not with the people.

I engage myself in another activity, I see a woman, with her tight butt bulging out of her blue legging, I can’t stop imagining myself naked with her in her bed with her tight butt locking my penis with oil on it. Just feeling it tight makes it hard. Give a man a woman with leggings and he never wants to fuck her, give a woman loose clothes she never gets a man.”

I can’t imagine her pussy with another dick in it.

I walk over calmly and get myself a tea and a pastry and fill my belly.

I think that I can’t make a woman get attracted to me.

So I think it’s better to go to bed and sleep.

I watch myself in the mirror at the end of the night.

It looks disgusting.

I masturbate watching my ex’s pic.

I feel relieved.

I feel guilty.

I shouldn’t have masturbated watching her.

Shit.

Somebody loves her, and she loves him.

She wants to marry him.

She wants a kid with him.

Let her name the kid after me.

I feel happy.

Watch random nudes in reddit and sleep and dream sexy naked hot oily white tits roll over me.

Wake up troubled.

Think about the pussy I am going to ream.

Feel sorry that it’s never going to happen.

God, when are those tight pussies with white faces are going to suck my dick, when am I going to squeeze those tight white pussies, when am I going to trim those stinking hairs, when am I going to massage them with costly lube on it, when am I going to eat them.

God let me fuck those chicks asap.

And my day begins.